life, love and music

One of the characteristics of the earth is its great abundance. For our benefit God has cached away in sixteen inches of topsoil the ingredients for food and clothing in rich abundance. A good farmer using proven agricultural methods may get many tons of a given crop from this earth-reservoir and still have his sixteen inches of topsoil left undiminished. The Creator has provided most growing things with many times more seeds than are necessary for their reproduction. Think how many kernels of corn grow on one stalk, and each kernel is capable of reproducing the entire plant.

But the most interesting manifestation of this super abundance is seen in the great possibilities that the Creator has placed in human life. It has been illustrated that by the right kind of regular exercise a man may build his arm, leg, and back muscles so that they are many times stronger than is required for ordinary use.

Each of our bodily organs was built much stronger than our needs ordinarily require. Our stomachs will hold far more food than is needed to keep us alive. We could see well with just one eye, but the Lord gave us two. We could hear with one ear, but the Lord has given us two. He gave us two kidneys, two lungs, and two nostrils. It is also true that by the same process of exercise, our minds, our personalities, and our faith can be almost inconceivably expanded. But our greatest possibility for expansion and development comes in the area of our talents, our virtues, and our abilities. These great personality powers are capable of the most fantastic multiplication.

In his significant parable of the Talents, Jesus told some interesting success stories about different people. Two doubled their talents; one buried and lost his. (See Matt. 25:14–30.) What tremendous people all of us could be if we were to develop the full power of our kindness, our righteousness, and our love. We could develop some of the muscles of friendship, leadership, fairness, and happiness that would rival those of a mental Charles Atlas or a spiritual Hercules. The Lord announced the purpose of his own mission by saying: “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10.) He expects us to develop that abundance and manifest it in all of the areas of our lives.

When any good engineer designs a bridge, he makes it capable of bearing more weight than will ever be placed upon it. When the great architect of our souls created us in his own image, he endowed us with all the potential of our eternal heavenly parents. God was thinking in terms of our own futures when he gave to man his own attributes. Jesus also had this in mind when he taught the philosophies of life involving the Golden Rule, doing more than is expected of us, and going the second mile.

During the ministry of Jesus, Judea was a province of the Roman Empire. There was an unpleasant military regulation in force that allowed a Roman soldier to command a Jewish civilian to carry the soldier’s burden for one mile. This inflicted an unpleasant duty on those who hated their Roman masters. Jesus added to the difficulty when he said to them, “… whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.” (Matt. 5:41.)

To many it must have seemed a disgraceful surrender to voluntarily go even beyond these demands that had been made by imperial Rome. We can imagine how it would clash with twentieth century temperament to be forced to carry the heavy burdens of an oppressive foreign conqueror. It could not have been less distasteful to the Jews in the meridian of time. Yet in this philosophy there is a great power that can help us to solve our own problems. We can overcome most of the hates and dreads of life by cheerfully doing more than is required of us.

Here we might recall the novel Ben Hur, whose setting was in a time contemporary with that of Jesus. The central character was a wealthy Jew who was made a Roman slave and consigned to work at the oars of a Roman galley. Ben Hur’s companions accepted their assignments with bitterness and hate, and as a consequence, their naked backs were bruised and cut by the lashes of their Roman masters. But Ben Hur adopted the philosophy of the second mile. He did his work as though his oars were taking him on a pleasure cruise. Ben Hur knew that no effort was ever lost, and therefore in his own interests he worked twice as hard as he was asked to work; and of course he received benefits in proportion.

Ben Hur’s willing attitude and effort pleased his Roman masters. He asked for nothing in return for his service except that he be permitted to alternate his labor and work on both sides of the galley so that his body muscles might be developed equally. Then came a shipwreck, and Ben Hur with his powerful muscles rescued a Roman tribune and won freedom. He then engaged in the chariot races at Antioch, where again those mighty arms that were developed in the galleys enabled him to master the horses, win the chariot race, and gain many privileges and much prestige for himself.

It is interesting that the Lord always fits the back to the burden. If you desire a strong back, all you need to do is carry a great load. By this same procedure, we may expand the abundance of our own abilities to almost any dimension.

This important idea may also operate in reverse. When our stomachs get empty they shrink. Our minds and our personalities can shrink as well. The power of a million tomato seeds is lost if they are not used.

The Lord grants us our decreed abundance on a kind of lend-lease basis where he takes back everything that is not used. These are terms similar to those under which he gave manna to the children of Israel in the wilderness. Each day an abundance of manna covered the ground and the people gathered as much as they desired, but that which was not used spoiled. So it is with our abilities. Most of us never get strong backs or have great minds because the burdens we have given them to bear have never been heavy enough. All of our potential that is not used is lost.

Faith can live in neither isolation nor disuse. When you take away the works, the faith dies. It always dies. There is no such thing as preserved faith. The same thing happens when we tie up our righteousness in a sling or try to keep it in isolation. When our righteousness is not used, its power is being transferred to evil. When our righteousness is too weary to go the second mile with a song in our hearts, then we are in trouble. When we begin giving in to evil, it soon becomes too much of a chore even to go the first mile. Then a song in our hearts becomes an impossibility.

One of the best applications of this second mile idea is found in the important institution of marriage. Someone has said that marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition. At first thought that seems like a pretty good idea—each party meets the other halfway. But in many marriages a shortage sometimes develops on both sides. Then our mathematics may indicate that instead of having a fifty-fifty marriage, we have only a forty-forty marriage. This would mean that there wasn’t enough marriage to cover the territory.

The best remedy for this problem, as for all others, is one of prevention. We need in our marriages a little more of the second-mile or Golden Rule or turn-the-other-cheek kind of philosophy. With a better philosophy we might then be able to construct a sixty-sixty marriage or even a hundred-hundred marriage. Then even if both partners should stub their toes or turn in a shortage, there would still be enough marriage to cover the requirements and fulfill all of the needs.

Major Martin Treptow had a second-mile kind of philosophy that might be helpful in marriage. He fought in World War I, and just before the battle of Chateau-Thierry, in which he gave his life, he wrote his great philosophy of life in his diary, saying, “I will work, I will save, I will sacrifice, I will endure, I will fight cheerfully, and do my utmost as though the entire conflict depended upon me alone.”

Martin Treptow was a good soldier. Undoubtedly he was a great husband. He was willing to go the second mile and the third mile and the tenth mile.

What a marvelous husband such a philosophy would make of anyone who was willing to live it. It would make him the kind of person who would have enough strength and enough love so that should it become necessary, he could carry the burdens of both. Likely he would also have enough faith and enough love for both. While the idea of one’s doing all of the work may not be the best idea for the long haul, it might help temporarily to get the marriage over the rough spots. To make a better team, both of the partners should learn to spend their love and faith at about the same rate.

When one of the marriage partners is tired or feels a little bit under par, however, it will provide some wonderful assistance if the other has enough strength, understanding, courage, trust, and love for both and is willing to invest it in their common interest. When one goes on an automobile trip, the car should have a minimum of four tires, but it is also very reassuring to have an extra tire just in case. Or you may have enough money in the bank to cover your outstanding checks, but a few months’ pay in some kind of a standby reserve makes the world look a lot brighter to you.

So it is in marriage. A fifty-fifty marriage is wonderful; an eighty-eighty marriage is far safer; but a hundred-hundred marriage is the one to which the prize is awarded. May the Lord always bless us as we build up this area of our abundance.

The Prophet Joseph Smith’s first known autobiographical sketch underlines the idea that his birth, in 1805, was “of goodly parents, who spared no pains to instruct me in the Christian religion.”In addition to goodly parents, he had rather remarkable grandparents. The year before his martyrdom, Joseph Smith spiritedly defended religious liberty for “any other denomination” and then became personal: “… love of liberty … was diffused into my soul by my grandfathers while they dandled me on their knees.”A careful study of the Prophet’s youth begins with the ideals of these grandparents, demonstrably transmitted to their articulate grandson.

The Prophet’s paternal great-grandfather, Samuel Smith, gave considerable public service to his town and state legislature. He was characterized in his obituary as “a sincere friend to the liberties of his country, and a strenuous advocate for the doctrine of Christianity.”His son Asael furthered this patriotic tradition as a soldier in the American Revolution, though then a father with five children aged eight and under. An enterprising farmer, Grandfather Asael Smith was prominent for years in several communities of Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and Vermont. As a young man he was town clerk.At the height of his powers, he and his sons held large tracts of land in Tunbridge, Vermont (the region of the Prophet’s birth), where Asael was twice elected selectman, one of the three constituting the town managerial board. He was also elected moderator of the town meeting, highway surveyor, and grand juror, and appointed to investigative committees.

The political and practical views of Asael at this time are revealed by a letter from Tunbridge, in which he recites an anecdote regarding the eleventh commandment, “mind your own business.”

The Prophet’s recollection of the “love of liberty” generated by his grandfather is easily provable in its continuity, for Asael looked forward to the spread of liberty from the United States to the world under God’s providence: “He has conducted us through a glorious revolution and has brought us into the promised land of peace and liberty; and I believe that he is about to bring all the world in to the same beatitude in his own time and way. …”Political views here merge with religious ones, since Asael believed literally that the second chapter of Daniel would be fulfilled as “all the monarchial and ecclesiastical tyranny will be broken to pieces.”It is no wonder that on hearing of the Book of Mormon prior to his death in 1830, “he said it was true, for he knew that something would turn up in his family that would revolutionize the world.”

Although Asael evidently participated in some worship in the Congregational Church in New England, he opposed the established theologies. As a young teenager, George A. Smith frequently conversed with his aged grandfather. He remembered him as “an exceedingly intelligent and cheerful old gentleman.” However, he was “too liberal in his views to please his children, who were Covenanters, Congregationalists and Presbyterians, with, I think, the single exception of his son Joseph [Sr.]. Not long before his death he wrote many quires of paper on the doctrine of Universal Restoration.”

This recollection is precisely substantiated by the Tunbridge Town Record, which records the formation of a Universalist Society in 1797, three of whose members were Asael Smith, Jesse Smith (the eldest son), and Joseph Smith (the Prophet’s father). A collection of Christian dissenters, the Universalists held a faith that denied the orthodox doctrine of damnation and asserted to the contrary that God’s love was “universal,” with the consequent salvation of all. A convention agreed on the following typical tenet in 1803: “We believe there is one God, whose nature is love, revealed in one Lord Jesus Christ, by one Holy Spirit of Grace, who will finally restore the whole family of mankind to holiness and happiness.”Asael Smith did not believe in a God who would condemn a portion of his children to eternal misery.

One may discuss Smith family traditions with little guesswork. Six years before the birth of the Prophet, Grandfather Asael carefully wrote down his specific philosophy and practical advice to his “dear wife and children,” addressing them in the quaint but affectionate phrase, “My Dear Selfs.” The priceless original of this document (now in the Church Historian’s Office) reveals the profound Christian piety of Asael, who displays the practical morality of a trustworthy man. Appropriately, it was published in 1902 by Asael’s great-great-grandson, then a young historian and now president of the Church.

Asael’s testament of counsel to his survivors is more than anything else a profession of faith in Jesus Christ, faith both in his atonement for sin and in the power of the resurrection. It carries the appeal to become Christlike in love, honesty, and practical righteousness. This is not the stuff of which either imposters or fanatics are made:

“Do all to God in a serious manner—when you think of Him, speak of Him, pray to Him, or in any way make your addresses to His great Majesty be in good earnest. Trifle not with His name nor with His attributes, nor call Him to witness to anything but is absolute truth; nor then, but when sound reason on serious consideration requires it.”

The spirit of strict responsibility under God pervades almost his every sentence. He exposes false appearances of wealth and status and stresses the realities of family loyalty, generosity, practical charity, industry, patriotism, and gratitude to God. Do everything, Asael enjoins, “in a way that is fair and honest, which you can live and die by and rise and reign by. …”True religion for him consisted not of empty ceremonies, but of personal goodness; it should be tested by the “two witnesses” of “the scriptures” and “sound reason.” Such a heritage of commitment does not die easily. Grandfather Asael spoke to the parents in his family (one of whom was Joseph Smith, Sr.) regarding their duties to their own children: “Make it your chiefest work to bring them up in the ways of virtue, that they may be useful in their generation.”

One can hardly doubt that in raising his children in “virtue,” Asael was materially supported by Mary Duty Smith, greeted in his 1799 address to the family as his “dearly beloved wife.” “With all the strength and power that is in me” Asael thanks her “for your kindness and faithfulness to me.”Mary Duty Smith was remarkably vital and affectionate at ninety-three, when she arrived at Kirtland to join four of her sons in their active faith in the calling of her prophet-grandson. Eliza R. Snow witnessed her “buoyancy of spirit” on that occasion.

Click to View Larger Format Joseph Smith’s Family Tree

Idealism and tested integrity crop out like granite in the writings of Joseph Smith’s maternal grandfather. Somewhat different from Asael Smith in abilities and achievements, Solomon Mack nevertheless displayed a moral excellence that compared favorably with the Smith heritage. He spent a difficult and dangerous life as a frontier settler, soldier and sailor in two wars, merchant, trader, and farmer. Not until the end of his life did he feel a harmony with the Lord, when, broken in body and humbled in spirit, he wrote sincerely of personal revelation.

Solomon’s leading quality was not brilliance, but a dogged tenacity in the face of overwhelming odds. The library cataloguer sees Solomon’s autobiography as the “career of an unlettered New Englander with his many unfortunate ups and downs.”An informed biographer will see the heroism of one determined not to give up in the face of unusual hardships. Bound out as an indentured servant because of unexpected impoverishment of his parents, Solomon was exploited as a child laborer without any benefit of religious or secular education. Leaving this bondage after majority, he plunged into the thick of danger in the French and Indian war. Modest but specific in his military narrative, Solomon described fatigue, disease, and human callousness. But two incidents (in the Lake George-Champlain sector) favorably highlight his character against war’s dark backdrop. In the business of hauling baggage with oxteams, he suddenly confronted a small party of Indian warriors. Unarmed, and accompanied by a single companion, Solomon saw “no other way to save myself, only to deceive them by strategem.” He called loudly to his companion and the nonexistent reinforcements behind him and charged headlong.

“I had no other weapon, only a staff. But I ran towards them, and the other man appearing in fight, gave them a terrible fright, and I saw them no more. But I am bound to say, the grass did not grow under my feet.”Such self-reliant bravery was also possessed by his prophet-grandson, who duplicated the episode in New York by scattering a menacing mob about his house, attacking with no other weapon but sheer nerve.

A second war episode reveals Solomon’s ability to sacrifice for others. Shortly after an unsuccessful and costly frontal assault on Ticonderoga, some colonials were sent on defensive patrol, only to be ambushed. Solomon Mack marched at the head with Israel Putnam’s company, which bore the brunt of the initial attack, in which Putnam was captured (though he miraculously survived). In Solomon’s words, “the enemy rose like a cloud and fired. … The tomahawks and bullets [were] flying around my ears like hail stones. …”This time survival depended upon immediate retreat and regrouping. Straining every power in flight, Solomon tarried to save another life at the risk of his own: “as I ran I looked [a] little one side, where I saw a man wounded (the Indians close to him), who immediately with my help got into the circle.”In the words of the eyewitness co-commander, Major Rogers, the “vigor and resolution” of the Americans broke this surprise attack,an achievement in bravery in which Solomon Mack shared.

Though crippled by accidents, Solomon served in the Revolution on land and sea, the latter duty on a privateer. War earnings and profits of civilian industry vanished in hard times and setbacks. Nor was his financial status helped by his generosity, which intensified his poverty through his becoming “bail for a number of people. …”He wrote his autobiography as an old man (when his grandson Joseph Smith was but six). Many accidents, sicknesses, and misfortunes had humbled the elderly and reflective Solomon to seek the Lord in prayer, and he wished to share the great faith that he had found. He bore testimony that he was both physically and spiritually healed. The simple story of his difficulties was told to show that God humbled him to teach him. Then “everything appeared new and beautiful. Oh, how I loved my neighbors; how I loved my enemies—I could pray for them. Everything appeared delightful; the love of Christ is beautiful.”

As he looked over his life, Solomon Mack pleaded with parents to give their children the moral leadership that he was deprived of in his youth. “Parents, a little caution how to train up your children in the sight of the Lord. Never bid them to do anything that is out of their power, nor promise them only what you mean to fulfill. Set good examples in word, deed, and action.”Though he was late in his Christian education, Solomon Mack set an example of rigorous virtue all of his life, and produced a remarkable set of sons and daughters. In both his conversion and the education of his children he gave heartfelt credit to his wife, his “only instructor” in Bible understanding.In the isolation of a pioneer farm Lydia Gates Mack took the initiative to keep her children’s minds and spirits nourished:

“She, besides instructing them in the various branches of an ordinary education, was in the habit of calling them together both morning and evening, and teaching them to pray, meanwhile urging upon them the necessity of love towards each other, as well as devotional feelings towards Him who made them. In this manner my first children became confirmed in habits of piety, gentleness, and reflection, which afforded great assistance in guiding those who came after them, into the same happy channel.”

Once the known convictions of Asael Smith, Solomon Mack, and their wives are identified, they become significant in understanding Joseph Smith in two ways. First, the Prophet’s parents obviously possessed characteristics formed in the Smith and Mack homes. Second, the Prophet had some direct contact with his grandfathers, who (as he said) taught him to value the freedom that they had fought for. Most significantly, however, their achievements and ideals were clearly respected and taught to the young Joseph Smith by his own parents. As for his grandmother Lydia Gates Mack, she had actually “lived with” Joseph Smith’s family “for some time” prior to their move to western New York in 1816. Both the Prophet and Lucy Mack Smith commented on her accompanying them at the beginning of their westward trek. The parting scene was the grandmother’s “last admonition” to Lucy Mack Smith “to continue faithful in the service of God to the end of your days, that I may have the pleasure of embracing you in another and fairer world above.”No informed biographer can deny the sustained exposure of the young Prophet to profound ideals and rational religious commitment. The intelligent sincerity of Joseph Smith’s grandparents goes a long way toward proving his own.

Fasting is a gift of joy. It is a gift that gives us an opportunity to draw close to God so that we can commune with him. As we meditate and pray during fasting we will be guided to answer to our prayers. We will know the right choice or decision to make. We will know the truth of things. We will gain a testimony and strengthen our testimony. We will feel the Lord’s closeness and know that he is the true and living God.

Fasting is a source of spiritual blessings. When we fast we receive spiritual blessings including health, righteousness and spiritual guidance. there is evidence of health promoting effects of periodic fasting. It not only promotes a longer life, but encourages a more vigorous activity later in life. Just like a car needs overhauling, our body needs periodic fasting.

Friendship can be liberating rather than in habiting, if the two of you can establish from the beginning certain rules for freedom.

Here are five suggestions for creating more space-

1-Be cautious with criticism:-Some people get a feeling of well-being and superiority from criticizing their friends. If you are afflicted with that plague, divest yourself of the infection as soon as possible. Alice Miller’s rule of thumb is a good one: “If it is very painful for you to criticize your friends, you are safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that is the time to hold your tongue. ”

2-Encourage your friends to be unique:-Suggestion number two for loosing up your friendship has to do with the peculiarities of your friends, their eccentricities, their unique dreams. Rather than urging your loved ones to conform, encourage their uniqueness. Everyone has dreams, dreams that no one else has, and you can make yourself loved by encouraging those aspirations.

3-Allow for solitude:-A non possessive friendship will maintain a profound respect for each person’s need for privacy. There is such a thing as too much closeness. In all our relationships we move together and apart. It is one of the marks of a mature relationship that you can relax if your friend is moving away from you for a while.

4-Encourage other relationships:-Jealousy according to Shakespeare is a “green-eyed monster.” And it has ruined many intimate friendships. If you get nervous when your best friend spends time with other friends or when a couple you and your mate enjoy excludes you from some of their social activities, you need to be wary of the corroding effect of jealousy. You never have exclusive right to anyone, and you hobble your friend if you expect to be the only person who matters.

5-Be ready for shifts in your relationship:-Let us say that your little sister tagged along with you as were growing up and were clearly the dominate one. If you are to have a healthy connection as adults, you must give her more room, allow her to be an adult, make her your equal. That is difficult, for years of conditioning have created a lopsided alliance. But it must change, and it can if you are prepared for shifting relationship.

True Friendship - An Eternal Enigma
 

We learn the value of friendship from a very early age. True friendship is unconditional: it is an enigma - selfless loving and giving. Perhaps we are too busy pursuing our careers that we tend to ignore the most beautiful thing in our lives: love and friendship. Everyone has different ideas about relationships and the approach may differ. It helps one to know that there are ‘givers and takers’ in this world and a role reversal is quite unlikely. Friends may disappoint you sometimes by not living up to your expectations. One who feels that he or she is putting more into relationships need not feel nobler as others may not feel the same. Before you judge someone it is prudent to consider that he or she may be incapable of love or friendship in the same way. Therefore, it is the interpretation of the measure of love or friendship that is under scrutiny; perhaps the person who realizes this has earned the right to be noble.

Human relationship is perhaps an enigma that can make you or break you. The precious bond between mother and baby is the most sacred of all, which starts in the womb; this bonding gradually blossoms into its various forms. The new life grows within her and it is no surprise that she guards it with her life from that moment. The baby comes into this world crying; announcing to the world its arrival or perhaps a cry of protest for being born. That precious bundle is loved, cuddled and smothered in kisses from the moment of its birth - the ‘human relationship machinery’ sets its wheels rolling. Parents, relatives and friends engulf the new life with their brand of love and care. Children grow into adults knowing the values of love and understanding or animosity and selfishness. They start seeing the world through their parents’ eyes and therefore, the parents have a greater responsibility during the formative years of their children.

People can go through life without having experienced true friendship of any kind. It is probably because of their selfishness or perhaps due to the total contentment within their small world; unfortunately this comfort zone has a tendency to get smaller in later years. Some may even have a tendency to criticize everything and everyone around them feeling happy and self-righteous. It is good to have friends, but it is even better to have a few good friends that one really cares for. As we get older we are more informed of our choices and there is no need to spend our precious time with people who make us tense, irritable and unhappy. One may come across prejudice and jealousy with the wrong type of people. True friendship develops an emotional tie that is strong enough to withstand time and space through thick and thin. It should give you the freedom to share your innermost feelings without having to wonder whether it is going to put a strain on the relationship.

In this age of electronic technology, friendship need not be restricted by distance - correspondence is possible within minutes helping families and friends to stay in touch. The time spent to nurture a true friendship is time well spent. Human nature is a blend of many energies and habits attempting to be one. It is likely that some characteristics will become more dominant than others. One needs different kinds of love and attention at various stages of life; but with vision, foresight and understanding one can get through life with a happy smile if one is fortunate to have a true friend. A true friendship is such that it can withstand anything, proving to be an enigma indeed!

True friends or best friends can never part ways, yes very correct ,so you think but in reality a true friend is hard to come by. It is always better to do a little inspection or introspection of the friendship which will be helpful for the health of the friendship.

Think about the fact that whether you and your friend are alike or very different .Does it seem like coming from two different worlds? Then next ask yourself about how long you have been friends. This then leads to next question about how much do you share your thoughts and how much do you communicate with each other?

The true friend, even if having contrasting hobbies, would support each other and will make every effort to be there for you when you need them. As an example let us take sports then a true friend of yours will always be at a game even if he or she did not like sports and vice versa. True friends will never forget you wherever they are, for example, if they go on a vacation then they will send you postcards or emails about what happened or is happening at the vacation which will help you at least be part of the vacation of that friend.

What all this above means is that basis of friendship is communication and separate personalities communicating with each other . This helps to understand that a true friendship is always built on a foundation of communication and openness. You always will share your most intimate thoughts with your best friend and will hope to hear from him an unbiased opinion on those.

To make all this special between friends there is unsaid bonding which can stand the test of time, pressure of outside forces and some resistance from others who are jealous about your friendship. Nurture your relationship like you would take care of small baby and the friendship will blossom into a mature relationship which is far ahead of any other relationships you have.

Four Steps To Know A Person Completely
In our life, what is more important than knowing people who matters to us most? The number of such people may not be very high, yet they influence our lives almost completely. If we can know their minds and thoughts better, there is no doubt that we not only make our life better but also the life of the people around us. It is no secret that we can get what we want in life only by the proper understanding of the people. In our personal life, we can bring peace and happiness only by understanding our loved ones. In our professional life we can motivate our colleagues and team to achieve the goal of the organizations only by properly understanding them.

Yet understanding people is the most difficult knowledge to learn in real life. This knowledge is not taught in any school or college. Our understanding of man based on the bookish knowledge derived from the books of psychology, management, religion, culture etc. fails to help us in understanding the real life people. Which theory is to be applied on a person, when every person is different and every theory is different? Theories are much easier to use in material domain as every atom, every molecule and every material behaves in identical manner. How to deal with man, when every one is different and no two people are similar?

It gives us no respite, to know a person merely in terms of probability or statistic when the person is too important to you. You can’t be satisfied to know that if you scold your children, he is 56% likely to perform poorly in exam. However, if you do not scold the child, his chances of poor performance are increased to 60%. These researches can’t help you in exercising of either option. You are scared of using either option as you want your child to improve. You do not have thousands of children that you can be satisfied with a statistical probability. After all in the first case the chances of failure is 44% while in the second case, it is 40%. You have only one child and you want him to improve. You want the right solution and not a random solution.

The solution of all our problems lies in knowing the person as accurately as one knows himself. If that can be possible then you can be almost absolutely sure that you will get the desired result. Are there really such methods of knowing a person so completely?

One Person Four Personalities

We all bear many hats in our life. We are the simplest creature on earth yet the most complex human being. Who are we?

We are a different person at our home. We are so simple at our home that even our child knows us well. We play with them, enjoy the simple games and become a child itself. Our education, profession and knowledge do not seem to influence our dear ones like our children, souse, parents and even our dogs. They all seems to know us very well.

We have a different personality with our friends. They too know us well. We all know the mind of all our friends. The older is the friend; the better is our understanding of him. Friends not only know our personality but they become the integral part of our personality. After all it is wisely said “a man is known by the company he keeps”. Thus, your friends are often a close refection of your personality.

Yet we are quite different on our job. The same person becomes different when performing his job. We are completely different person as a cop, philosopher, teacher, politician or a sweeper. Our actions and thoughts are shaped according to our job. There is a great similarity in all people of similar profession. All cops have similar traits, so have the traits of all teachers.

Finally, we are part of the society, nation and the world. We are affected by every thing that is happening anywhere in the society or the world. A man of India is different than a man of China or USA. A man of twenty first century is different than a man of tenth century.

However, man in not merely only a body i.e. the material entity but he also has mind, soul and spirit. The complete personality of the person can be known only by knowing his body, mind, soul and spirit. Once you know all four, there is nothing left in the person to be known as he has become your extended Self by the presence of the common spirit. The methods to know these four aspects of man have requires following four steps.

The Physical Self

The body of the person is the most obvious representation of his or her personality. Body represents the physical self of the person as an animal and represents the basic instincts or the natural instinct of the person. The first distinction in the body emerges from the sex of the person. The bodies of the males and females are as different as their basic instinct. The basic instincts of males and females are quite similar across the world. So if you know one, you know all. The second important thing which the body represents is the raw passion or sensual desire of the person. A man with uncontrolled passion would have uncontrolled, fat and disproportionate body while a man who has disciplined and controlled his desire would have a fitter and proportionate body. The movement of the body and limbs too represents the natural personality of the person. This is often called as “body language”. A restless person must have a restless body and peaceful person would have a peaceful body.

The Mental Self

The mind of the person is the most important attribute in his professional life. The mind of the person is shaped on the basis of the education and experience of the person in his lifetime. One can know the mind of the person from his educational qualification, experience and profession experience as all goes into shaping the mind of the person. The mind of the person is the source of the reason and logic used by the person to interact with the world. One can also understand the mind of the person in the course of discussion and communication i.e. the way he answers or responds to your logic and reasons.

The Intellectual Self

The body, senses and mind apparently seem to be independent from each other. It is also possible to measure these attributes of human personality by suitable instruments and tests. Yet they are all controlled by the Soul of the person which represents the intelligence of the person.

The mind and body of the person are changing every moment. A person is happy in one movement but get worried on the very next moment. A person may be active in one moment but may become inactive due to illness or hunger or tiredness few moments later. Thus our assessment of the person may be totally wrong if it is based merely on the knowledge of physical and mental self. We have to know the force behind the body and mind which does not change.

 
Gita (III 42-43) explains the relationship of body, senses, mind, Individual Intelligence (Soul) and the Universal Intelligence (God) in the following words.
 

The senses are superior to the body. Above the senses is the mind, above the mind is the soul (individual intelligence) and above the soul is God (Universal Intelligence).

Knowing the intelligence self of the person is, therefore, extremely important as it changes only little over a lifetime. Just like one can know the tree from its fruits, same is true for intelligence which controls the body and the mind. If a person speaks evil for everybody, it shows that his core (intelligence) too is evil. Jesus said, (Mathew 7: 15-20)

 
“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but underneath are ravenous wolves. By their fruits you will know them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Just so, every good tree bears good fruit, and a rotten tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. So by their fruits you will know them.”
 

The real nature of the person is intelligence of the person. Body and mind are merely the tools in the control of the intelligence self. Just like a fire can be used to cook food or burn people, so does the body and mind can be used for good or bad purposes by the intelligence? The intelligence of the person has to be understood by the synthesis of the diverse traits and actions of the personality of the person using our own intelligence and reasoning.

The Spiritual Self

It is believed in scriptures and philosophies that every living being has the spark of the God or Spirit. No person is, therefore, independent from other beings as everyone is connected by the common thread of this spirit. It is due to the common spirit that we cry when we see people in misery and fell happy when give happiness to others. It is due to the spiritual self, that we connect ourselves with the rest of the world and enjoys or feel pain in our life.

The spiritual self of the person is the non-material aspect of the human personality. It is best known to our loved ones, when there are no material rewards or punishment for our actions. In your home, you get no reward or punishment in being nice or nasty to your children, your wife or your parents and elders. Yet the expression of our spiritual self is the sour of all our happiness and pain.

A spiritual person, therefore, highly value the nonmaterial realities of life and seek happiness in selfless activities. We are all spiritual to some extent else we can never get happiness in our life. If you donate one billion dollars to your computer or a lathe machine, it can never feel any happiness. Only a man can feel happiness even by wealth since he can use the wealth for distribution to others selflessly which , makes him and others happy.

The understanding of the spiritual self is purely based on intuition and requires no knowledge or reasoning. It is similar to the understanding that a child or a dog has to their parents or their master. The sign of spirituality is the peace, love and happiness. So when you meet a person and feel more peaceful, loving and happy, the person must be highly spiritual. You can therefore expect help and compassion from such person. If the feeling is otherwise, you have met a materialistic and devilish person, who can only seek material favour from you or seek pleasure in your pain.

The Complete Knowledge of A Person

Only by knowing all four aspect of a person which represents the body, mind, soul and spirit of the person, you can understand the real person. Such understanding of a person requires not only the logical mind but also the use of your basic instinct , intelligence , intuition and experience. You can then know the complete person using your intuition and know the real thoughts of the person. Once you have understood the thoughts and soul of a person, what is left unknown about the person.

Eastern Orthodoxy
By Milton V. Backman, Jr.
“And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place.

“And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting.

“And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them.

“And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost. …” (Acts 2:1–4.)

These descriptive words of Luke reveal to members of the Eastern Orthodox communion the historical origin of their church, for, according to these Christians, the one and only true church was originally constituted on the memorable day of Pentecost. After the apostles had gathered at Jerusalem, the Holy Ghost descended with visible power upon these resolute leaders. On that occasion, these special witnesses of Christ preached, baptized, and then organized the believers into the first Christian community. Within a few years, other bodies of saints had been gathered in all the major centers of the Roman Empire, and eventually Christianity spread from these towns into many other parts of the Old World.

Although there was only one major body of Christians in Europe and the Near East during the early Middle Ages, it was characterized by striking diversity of belief and practice. There was also a lack of central leadership in the early medieval church, for no one person or group of religious leaders was universally recognized throughout the church as the supreme head. Meanwhile, political, cultural, and economic differences emerged, dividing Europe into an eastern and a western civilization. It is not surprising, therefore, that significant religious differences developed separating the Eastern and Western Christians and that the first major schism in the medieval church occurred when Christians living in these two sections of Europe failed to harmonize their differences.

The doctrinal dispute that ignited a disruption of the church and provided the occasion for a permanent separation centered on two fundamental issues: the primacy of the pope and the procession of the Holy Ghost. Eastern Christians refused to acknowledge the western claim of the universal supremacy of the bishop of Rome, contending that all bishops have equal authority. Moreover, they held that Roman Catholics erred when they altered an ancient creed with the insertion stating that the Holy Ghost proceeds from the Father and the Son. The Holy Ghost proceeds from the Father alone, Eastern Christians contended. The theological estrangement led to bitter debates. In 1054 a papal legate arrogantly laid on a church altar a bull of excommunication against the patriarch of Constantinople. Although this event has traditionally been labeled as the date of the “great schism” and was a bitter episode in ecclesiastical history, it was not the first nor the last event in the long process of separation.

Conscientious attempts at reconciliation were sought for generations by leaders of both churches, until finally the actions of insolent crusaders cemented the schism. During the fourth Crusade, the vengeance of embittered warriors was diverted from the Moslem enemy to Christians residing in Constantinople. In 1204 Western Christians sacked the historic city, robbed churches, and returned to their homes with what many regarded as priceless, sacred relics. The offending swords of these crusaders shattered all hope of reconciliation in that era of history, and doctrinal diversities have persisted, preventing a successful healing of the rupture.

For many centuries Orthodoxy was almost purely an Eastern religion, being confined to eastern Europe and portions of Asia. During the past two centuries, however, there has been a major dispersal of this faith. As early as 1794 Russian Orthodoxy was carried by missionaries to Alaska, and during the last half of the eighteenth century Russians commenced missionary work in Japan and Korea and established churches in the continental United States. Meanwhile, Greeks were also establishing societies in various parts of the world. Greeks organized the first permanent Orthodox church in London in 1838 and gathered the first group of Orthodox Christians in the continental United States at New Orleans in 1864.

The most significant dispersal of Orthodoxy in modern times has taken place during this century. At the turn of the century the first truly substantial immigration of Greeks to America occurred. This tidal wave was followed by a great stream of Russian immigrants who fled their native land after the outbreak of the Bolshevik Revolution, and the Orthodox churches followed these immigrants. Between 1906 and 1956 this religion, which grew primarily through a steady stream of the uprooted, was one of the fastest-growing faiths in the United States, increasing from an estimated membership of 130,000 to about 2,400,000 during this fifty-year period. During the decade from 1956 to 1966, the growth was from 2,400,000 to 3,172,000, or an increase of 32 percent. Since some local groups report family membership rather than enumerating every member, some historians estimate that Orthodox membership in the United States is closer to five million than the reported three million.

There is no single headquarters of this community of churches in the United States. Many of the churches, such as the Greek, Romanian, Serbian, and Syrian, are organized along national lines and are connected with their respective national churches in Europe or Asia. However, most of these churches have been Americanized in the sense that English is being used both in the worship services and in the teaching and preaching of this faith.

The great dispersal of Orthodoxy through immigration has certainly not been confined to the United States, for in recent years there has been a significant growth of this community of churches in Canada, Latin America (especially Brazil and Argentina), Australia, western Europe, and portions of Africa. Orthodoxy has, therefore, recently emerged as a worldwide movement.

While Orthodoxy has been increasing in the Western world, it has been declining rapidly in numbers and influence behind the iron curtain. A large percent (possibly 85 percent) of this communion now live under Communist rule and are subject to rather severe religious restrictions. In fact, Orthodoxy has been affected more by this political ideological revolution than any other denomination. As a result of legal limitations and the constant flood of atheistic propaganda imposed upon the masses, some Orthodox churches have almost been exterminated. But other churches have adjusted, have reorganized, or have entered a modern Christian underground. In spite of fifty years of persecution, organized religion behind the iron curtain has not withered away.

Although Greece is the only country in the world today that is still officially Orthodox, Eastern Orthodoxy has remained one of the leading (numerically speaking) religions of the world, with an estimated world membership of from 60 to 90 million practicing Orthodox Christians and from 120 to 150 million believers. Excluding Protestantism, which is a grouping of many Christian religions, Orthodoxy ranks second among Christian faiths and sixth among the world religions.

There are four historic centers of the Eastern Orthodox Church: Constantinople, Antioch, Alexandria, and Jerusalem. The Patriarch of Constantinople is recognized as the first bishop among equals and has the primacy of honor. In addition to these four ancient patriarchates with their many geographical and ecclesiastical subdivisions, there are other major autonomous societies in this community of churches, including the Orthodox churches of Greece, Russia, Romania, Bulgaria, Poland, Czechoslovakia, Albania, Serbia, and Cyprus. Each of these societies maintains a separate and independent administrative structure and is directed by councils of bishops, called synods. While they are free in their inner life and management, they are in full communion with each other and are united in their liturgical life and by many traditional beliefs.

One of the important beliefs of Eastern Orthodoxy is that all bishops are theoretically successors of Peter. They generally specify that Peter was given an honorary position among the apostles as the head of the theologians. They further emphasize that while the jurisdiction of Peter and the other apostles was over the entire church, the bishop’s jurisdiction was and should perpetually remain over a specific geographical region.

To substantiate their belief in the equality of bishops, Orthodox Christians frequently turn to the writings of church fathers, such as Ignatius of Antioch, who declared: “Follow the bishop as Jesus Christ did the Father. … Nobody must do anything that has to do with the Church without the bishop’s approval. … Where the bishop is present, there let the congregation gather, just as where Jesus Christ is, there is the Catholic Church. Without the bishop’s supervision, no baptisms or love feasts are permitted.” 1

Similar to Roman Catholics but unlike most Protestants, Eastern Christians believe that there are two sources of religious truth, the Bible and tradition. The Bible, they maintain, was not meant to be a constitution upon which God’s church should be built. Since this sacred work is not a complete description of the gospel of Christ and is susceptible to a variety of interpretations, they contend that another source, tradition, must be employed to determine religious truth. Some Orthodox Christians further conclude that tradition is the sole source of gospel truth, claiming that scripture is one of the outward forms in which tradition is expressed.

Orthodox Christians further believe that tradition includes more than the faith that Jesus conveyed to the apostles. It includes such outward forms as the Nicene Creed, the decisions of the first seven ecumenical councils, definitions by local councils, letters prepared by bishops approved by the church, the liturgy, canon law, and icons. The decisions of the first seven ecumenical councils (but not others regarded as general councils by Roman Catholics) are regarded as infallible, and other expressions of faith become infallible only when approved by the whole Orthodox community.

There is an emphasis in this communion on the study of the writings of the church fathers. Some of the fathers are regarded as authoritative interpreters of the faith, but Orthodox Christians recognize that these expositors taught conflicting opinions in the areas of theological speculation, such as the fall, the atonement, and life beyond the grave. Moreover, these Christians have not universally endorsed the decrees of a council such as the Council of Trent, which defined Roman Catholic beliefs on a variety of subjects. Therefore, there is no single authoritative document describing the basic beliefs of Orthodox Christians.

There has been and currently is a major emphasis in this church on the doctrine of the Trinity. Orthodox Christians insist that God is a spirit, an immaterial being, and that he is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. They further explain that God is three persons of one essence, coeternal, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The Father is the creator of all things, visible and invisible. Christ was incarnate by the Holy Ghost and of the Virgin Mary, becoming man for our salvation; and the Holy Ghost was sent by Christ to guide his church.

Orthodox Christians also emphasize that their theology is a negative approach to God, for they insist that God is a mystery who cannot be comprehended by man. Positive statements about God, they say, must be offset by describing what God is not. As St. John of Damascus (ca. 675–749) asserted, declarations specifying that God is “good, and just and wise … do not tell God’s nature but only the qualities of His nature.” Although “it is plain … that there is a God,” the essence and nature of Deity is “absolutely incomprehensible and unknowable.” It is evident, he concluded, that God is incorporeal, formless, intangible, invisible, infinite, incognizable, and indefinable. “It is not within our capacity, therefore, to say anything about God or even to think of Him, beyond the things which have been divinely revealed to us.” 2

In addition to emphasizing the dogma of the Trinity and the incomprehensible nature of God, Eastern Orthodox Christians devote much attention to the sacraments. Recognizing the importance of the sacramental life among the membership of this church, Orthodox authors sometimes refer to their communion as “primarily a worshiping community.” As do Roman Catholics, they teach that there are seven major sacraments. They further contend that these outward, visible signs convey inward spiritual grace to recipients. While Protestants teach that grace is an attitude of God or God’s graciousness, Eastern Christians, in harmony with Roman Catholic belief, assert that grace is divine power or the saving power of God by which men receive the benefits of the atonement. This grace is stored in the church, is administered through the sacraments, and is absolutely necessary for salvation. Some Orthodox theologians also claim that there are more than seven sacraments, specifying that there are many other actions in the church that possess sacramental characteristics, such as performing services for the burial of the dead, anointing a monarch, and blessing churches, icons, homes, fields, animals, cars, and the water on the day of Epiphany (the feast celebrating Christ’s baptism).

Through baptism, Eastern Christians maintain, recipients are cleansed of their personal sins and the original sin and become members of the earthly kingdom of God. This sacrament is performed by threefold immersion. In some instances only part of the body is immersed (as in the case of infants), and water is poured over the rest of the body, once in the name of the Father, once in the name of the Son, and once in the name of the Holy Spirit. In infant baptism, two sponsors who are not the parents of the child confess the Orthodox faith on behalf of the infant and accept for the infant the offer of fellowship into the church.

In addition to practicing threefold immersion, there are other significant differences between the Orthodox belief and the Roman Catholic position regarding the sacraments. Whereas Roman Catholic children are not confirmed until after they reach the age of accountability, converts and infants of Orthodox parents are confirmed or chrismated (a special sacramental ordinance) immediately after baptism.

Although another difference in the two major Catholic churches is that young Orthodox children are invited to partake of holy communion, the two denominations agree that during this service Christ is crucified in an unbloody crucifixion. Christ is not only regarded as the literal victim of the sacrifice, but he is also considered the priest who invisibly performs this ceremonial act. During the liturgy (or mass, as Roman Catholics would say), Orthodox Christians teach that the bread and wine are changed into the body and blood of Christ. After the bread and wine have been consecrated, Orthodox members receive both the leavened bread and the wine. (Roman Catholics, however, receive a sacrament of only one kind, a wafer of unleavened bread.)

There are additional significant differences in the beliefs of members of the two Catholic communions regarding confession. In the Orthodox church the penitent stands next to a small desk during the confession and a priest stands by the side of the confessor. The priest is not regarded as a judge but as a counselor who strives to recover the spiritual health of the sinner. In most Orthodox churches, priests do not claim authority to forgive sins but petition the Lord to grant the penitent “assurance of repentance, pardon and remission of his sin, and absolve him from all his offenses, voluntary and involuntary.” 3

Marriage is another visible sign in which couples receive special blessings from God. Orthodox Christians, unlike Roman Catholics, permit divorce under certain conditions and also permit remarriage. Priests are permitted to marry before their ordination and most parochial clergy are married, but bishops cannot be married, for they are taken exclusively from the monastic clergy. Marriage to a baptized Christian of another faith is permitted if the nonmember promises to baptize the children of the marriage in the Orthodox church.

The sacrament of holy unction and the last rites are different services in this communion. While the sacrament of holy unction is administered to those who are physically or mentally ill and to those seeking purification, last rites is a service reserved for dying members.

Ordination is considered another of the seven sacraments. In addition to emphasizing apostolic succession, Orthodox Christians stress lay participation in the appointment of the clergy. During the ordination service, the congregation hails the new clergyman with the word axios, signifying that the individual is worthy to be ordained. Then bishops lay their hands on the candidate’s head, ordaining him in the name of the church.

Orthodox Christians, like Roman Catholics, emphasize veneration of icons (religious pictures) and saints. They also pray to saints to ask the saints to pray for them, but they do not venerate three-dimensional statues. In every faithful Orthodox home a corner, usually in the bedroom, is dedicated for the family sanctuary. In this sanctuary are placed icons of Christ, Mary, and a patron saint, a cross, a prayer book, dried flowers of Good Friday, holy water, and other such religious objects. An icon is also placed in the eastern corner of the living room, and according to custom, Orthodox guests who enter an Orthodox home venerate the icon by making the sign of the cross and bowing. Before entering the sanctuary of their church, Orthodox members approach a wall in the nave containing pictures. The worshiper first kisses the Christ icons, then the Mary icons, and then icons of the angels and saints. He also venerates the icons by bowing and crossing himself.

Mary is held in high esteem because she is the mother of God. Orthodox Christians believe that Mary was a virgin not only when she bore Christ, but that she remained a virgin throughout her life. Although most members of this religious society further believe that the original sin was not imputed to Mary (nor in the Augustinian sense to other people), many conclude that after Mary’s death, her body was taken into heaven, being made fully spiritual.

Even though there is no dogma of the church regarding the fall, atonement, and life after death, there are beliefs regarding these subjects that are held by many members. Most Orthodox members believe that our first parents rebelled against God, and because of their transgression all men are born into a state of moral and physical (meaning we shall suffer death) corruption. They further believe that as a consequence of the original sin, man’s nature has assumed a corrupted form.

Most Orthodox Christians also speculate that through the atonement of Christ, man is able to regain the Holy Spirit. Although Christ’s sacrifice is applicable for all, men do not benefit from this act until they are baptized and reborn. God, they add, initiates the work of salvation by arousing the seeds of moral and spiritual powers remaining in man after the fall, and man plays a vital role in the salvation experience by accepting this precious gift.

When an Orthodox member considers life beyond the grave, he usually declares that death is the separation of the body and the spirit. The spirit is partially judged at death and enters a state of happiness or misery. At the time of the general judgment, the body (usually defined as a spiritual body) will be resurrected, and men will be assigned to everlasting happiness or everlasting punishment. While some Orthodox members speculate that possibly the punishment of the wicked will not continue eternally, others insist that this view of universal salvation has been condemned by the church.

In the middle of the twentieth century, members of the Orthodox church recognize that modern confrontations are producing new challenges. While many behind the iron curtain are striving to combat the debilitating influence of Communism, Orthodox Christians living in the free world are confronted with other problems. Theories advanced by biblical critics and modern scientists sometimes conflict with beliefs that have been popular for generations. The new ecumenical spirit is also creating tensions in the church. While some Orthodox members are striving to advance a program designed to create Christian unity, others insist that in order to enthusiastically and effectively support such a program, the Orthodox Christian will be forced to compromise on basic traditional beliefs and practices. The problem of Orthodox immigrants’ adjusting to a new life in a new nation has also beset many families, but a great many have adjusted admirably to this challenge and have become respected, productive workers and loyal leaders in the lands that have given them new hope and opportunities.

Although the modern history of Orthodoxy contains sorrowful notes of religious persecution and economic oppression, these years of unparalleled change have not altered the major religious emphasis of this community of churches. The traditional emphasis on veneration of icons, daily worship, and the importance of the sacrament has not been lessened. Eastern Orthodoxy has remained “primarily a worshiping community.”

Regular Health Mistakes

All of us make little health mistakes that cause damage to our bodies in the long run - simply because we are unaware we are doing something wrong. Here are some of the most common mistakes made by many of us.

Crossing our legs
Do you cross your legs at your knees when sitting? Although we may believe that this is the lady-like elegant way to sit, sitting this way cuts down circulation to your legs. If you don”t want varicose veins to mar the beauty of your legs and compromise your health, uncross your legs every time you realise you have one knee on top of the other. The best way to sit is to simply place both legs together on the floor, balancing your weight equally. If you feel like changing position, instead of crossing your legs, simply move both legs together to one side. As an alternative, you could also consider crossing your legs loosely at the ankles. This is a classically elegant way to sit, and is far better for your legs and your health than sitting with your legs crossed at your knees.

Not changing our toothbrush
How often do you change your toothbrush? Most of us wait until most of the bristles have either fallen off, or are in such bad shape that we”d be embarrassed to pull out our brush in public. However, since not many of us need to pull out our brush in public, we carry on with our frayed one until we lose it. Replace your toothbrush often. Damaged bristles can harm the enamel, and don”t massage your gums well. If you find brushing your teeth a pain like I do, but know you must do it, you might as well be doing it right. Imagine going through the annoyance of brushing your teeth twice a day only to find out that you”re damaging your enamel every time you clean your teeth. Also, use a brush with soft bristles unless your dentist has advised otherwise.

Eating out often
There are oils that are high in cholesterol, and oils that cause little harm and are better for your heart. However, no matter how light
the oil is, it is never a good idea to eat too much of it. Avoid fried foods.Remember that in all probability your favorite Indian food
restaurant throws a huge, HUGE chunk of butter in a tiny bowl of dal. Rita, who worked in the kitchen of a 5 star hotel, was shocked when she saw the cook chop a 500gm butter slab in half, and throw half into a Paneer Makhani dish. No wonder the customers left licking their fingers. And no wonder they felt so stuffed and heavy afterwards. Limit outdoor eating unless you know that you”re getting served light and healthy food.

Skipping breakfast
Never, ever skip breakfast. Remember, when you wake up in the morning it”s been around 10-12 hours since your last meal. Your body needs food now, more than at any other time. Eat a heavy breakfast. You will then be busy through the day, and the calories will get expended quickly. If you are trying to diet, eat a light dinner. Here are some more common health mistakes we make. Being informed and making a few changes can help make us feel a whole lot better.

High heels

High heels sure look great, but they’re murder for your back. This however doesn’t mean you should steer clear of stilettos. Wear them, but not when you know you will be walking around a lot. Wear them when going out for lunch or dinner - when the only walking you will be doing is to your car, to the table, and back. Avoid high heels when you are going somewhere on foot. If you are constantly tempted to wear your heels, take a good look at your flats. Is there something about them you dislike? Invest in a new pair of beautiful flats or shoes with a low heel. Buy something you love, that you will enjoy wearing. If possible, get a matching bag. You will then enjoy your flats as much as you do your heels.

Sleeping on a soft bed

You don’t have to sleep on the floor be kind to your back, but do make sure you have a firm mattress. Although a mattress on springs is soft and lovely to sink into, it’s bad for your back. If you already have an old bed with springs, you don’t need to invest in a new one - simply get a thick wooden plank put over the springs, and place the mattress on the plank. Similarly, if your mattress is old and lumpy, throw it out and get a new one. Your neck and your back will thank you. The same rule applies to sofas. If you will be spending hours on a sofa, get a firm yet comfortable one. Sofas you completely sink into are not the best idea.

Pillows

No matter how comfortable sleeping with ten cushions is, have pity on your neck and resist. Sleep with one pillow, and make sure it is not too thick. If your pillow gets lumpy, discard it and go for a new one. Get a thin pillow if you sleep on your stomach, and something a little thicker if you sleep on your back, to give your neck adequate support.

Not exercising

So all of us know we should exercise more, but many of us don’t. This is a health mistake we consciously make! And why is that? Simply because we refuse to admit the damage we are causing to our bodies by not working out. A number of people only start working out once they’ve experienced a warning signal. Don’t wait for a heart attack to strike before you decide to opt for a lifestyle change. Make the change now. You don’t need to train for the marathon to be in top shape. Half an hour of brisk walking three to four times a week will make a world of difference to your health. You could then increase this to forty minutes, four times a week - and you’re all set. If you haven’t exercised for a week, you’re making a mistake.

Ditch your diet demons

… and lose weight for good! The pain of weight gain can be driven out if you plan your diet and lifestyle smartly. Read on to bust these myths…

I have a slow metabolism

Actually, if you’re overweight, you probably have a faster metabolism than someone who’s slim. Extreme dieting can cause a temporary drop in metabolism as your body uses muscle as well as fat to provide it with sufficient energy, so eat a minimum of 1,200 calories a day.

I can’t afford to eat healthily

Make a shopping list to prevent impulse buys and avoid expensive, calorie-packed biscuits, cakes, crisps and booze. Choose “economy” or “value” ranges for healthy foods like vegetables, fruits, beans, bread, milk, chicken, pasta and rice. Pad out meat dishes by adding beans, lentils or barley, which are cheaper and lower in fat. And save money by buying seasonal fruits and vegetables.

I won’t give up favourite foods

Keep a food diary to identify exactly how many treats you eat a day. Allow yourself a 100-200 calorie treat every day, whether that’s a small chocolate bar, glass of wine or packet of reduced-fat crisps. If you love fast food, have it in place of a meal and make sure you fill up on fruits, vegetables and starchy, fiber rich foods to prevent hunger, which can leave you craving fatty and sugary snacks.

I hate exercise

If you are reluctant to exercise opt for fun activities such as dancing, kick boxing, long walk with a friend or martial arts. Be more active in your daily life too. Don’t travel by car for short distances, use the stairs and be more active with kids.

I have big bones

You need a reality check! You may be big boned but, if your Body Mass Index (BMI) is over 25, you probably also have a big belly. A quick and easy way to find out whether your extra weight is down to too much fat is to measure your waist. For women, a measurement of 32 inches is linked to an increased risk of health problems (for men it’s 37 inches) and indicates you should lose weight.

I’ll put the weight back on that I lost

Many people find it harder to stay slim than to lose weight. The key is to avoid “dieting” and instead focus on a healthy, balanced diet you can stick to. To stay slim, you need to continue eating lots of fruits, vegetables and high-fiber food. Remember to keep choosing low-fat dairy products and limiting fatty, sugary and salty foods, regularly.

I inherited “fat” genes

Scientists have identified genes that may make us fat. While we might inherit “fat” genes from our parents, we also inherit their bad habits such as a poor diet and lack of exercise - and it’s these factors that have a more important part to play in weight gain.

I hardly eat a thing

Many people swear they can’t lose weight despite eating very little but they forget all the extras they’ve eaten through the day. Keep a food diary for a week and write down every morsel that passes your lips. You’ll be amazed how much mindless eating you do.

I can’t give up going out

When eating out, skip the starter or dessert or both. Alternatively, ask for two starters and have one as a main course. For dessert, choose fresh fruit salad. As a rule, avoid anything that’s fried or made with loads of butter, cream, pastry or cheese.

Nutrition tips for kids

Many more children are being diagnosed with high cholesterol, or as overweight or obese. These conditions can cause many health problems for your child such as diabetes and high blood pressure, both now and as he or she moves into adulthood.

By helping your child eat a healthy diet and exercise regularly, you can reduce his or her risk of experiencing these health problems.

How can help a child eat right?
If you prepare healthy foods for your family and eat healthy foods yourself, your child will eat healthier, too.

Make sure to prepare a variety of foods, so your family gets all the vitamins and minerals their bodies need to function properly.

What are some examples of healthy meals?

Breakfast: The first meal of the day is a good time to give your child foods that are high in fiber. Whole-grain breads, cereals, fruit, low-fat or nonfat cheeses and yogurt are also good breakfast foods. Use skim or low-fat milk rather than whole or 2% milk. Fruit juice is usually high in calories and has less nutrients than whole fruit (fresh or canned).

Lunch: Use whole-grain breads and rolls to make a healthier sandwich. Whole grains increase the total fiber in your child’s diet and are less processed than enriched white bread. Give your child whole-grain crackers with soups, chili and stew, and always serve fresh fruit (with the skin) with meals instead of chips or other high-calorie options.

Here are some ways to make healthier sandwiches:
Use low-fat or fat-free lunch meats. They are good in sandwiches or cut into strips on top of a salad.
Buy leaner meats, such as turkey, chicken or veggie dogs.
Put leftover chicken or turkey strips in a tortilla to make a cold fajita (add strips of raw red and green peppers and onions). Use fat-free sour cream as a dressing.
Stuff a pita-bread “pocket” with vegetables, fat-free cheese and bits of leftover grilled chicken.
Cut up vegetables such as onion, carrot, celery and green peppers to add to tuna salad. Mix vegetables and water-packed tuna with fat-free mayonnaise or, for a different taste, mix with a fat-free salad dressing.
Chunky bits of leftover chicken mixed with fat-free mayonnaise, raisins, shredded carrots and sliced almonds is a great chicken salad. Serve it in a pita-bread pocket. Top it with salsa for a Southwestern flavor.
Mix cranberry sauce and fat-free mayonnaise to add to a turkey sandwich.
When buying peanut butter, choose an “all-natural” option. For jelly, buy one that 100% fruit and does not contain high fructose corn syrup. This will make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches much healthier.
Sliced ham and low-fat or fat-free cheese with mustard is great on rye bread.
Low-fat cheese makes a good sandwich with tomato slices and mustard or fat-free mayonnaise on a whole-grain roll.
Slice leftover pork tenderloin and top with barbecue sauce for a hot or cold sandwich.
Make grilled-cheese sandwiches with low-fat or fat-free cheese and serve them with raw carrot and celery sticks.
What snacks are good for child?
Fruits, vegetables, whole grains and low- or nonfat dair also make great snacks for children. Here are some ideas for ways to serve these foods to your kids:

Fruits:
Bits of fruit stirred into nonfat yogurt
Strawberries
Raisins
Grapes
Pineapple chunks
Orange or grapefruit sections
Bananas cooked lightly in apple juice
Apple slices with all natural peanut butter
Dried fruit mixes

Vegetables:
Carrot sticks
Celery sticks with all natural peanut butter
Raw broccoli and cauliflower florets with a low-fat dip or salsa

Protein:
1% fat or fat-free cottage cheese or ricotta cheese
Water-packed tuna mixed with fat-free mayonnaise on top of celery sticks or whole-grain crackers
Fat-free yogurt topped with sunflower seeds, chopped dried fruit or a spoonful of oat bran

Whole grains:
Cereals or cereal bars that are low in sugar and fat, and high in fiber and protein
Whole-grain crackers, breads or bagels

Sweets and desserts:
Fat-free frozen yogurt
Juice bars
Sherbet and sorbet

Night Fright

Have you ever woken up with a throbbing headache or an agonising toothache in the middle of the night?

Many times certain ailments catch us off-guard in the middle of the night. We may sometimes experience muscle cramps and at other times severe toothache and ear pain. To make matters worse, we try and do certain things to cure the ailment which again turns out to be harmful. Here, Dr Bharesh Dedhia, Chief, Critical care services, Jupiter Hospital, Thane, lists out the seven most common ailments and also provides us quick home remedies to counter these ailments.

Severe Toothache

This is a result of severe dental cavities, which could expose the inner dental nerves and cause pain or even severe gingivitis. Other causes could be severe ear infection or sinus infection which could masquerade as toothache.

Home Remedy: Rinse your mouth with warm water using dental floss to remove any food particles between teeth. Consume a pain reliever like crocin or apply locally acting pain relieving gels like Dologel. For swollen gums, application of ice pack on the outside of the cheek for 20 minutes could help. Chewing on a clove or applying clove oil is a century old practice and still works.

Earache

This is mostly due to a severe middle ear infection, and occasionally due to an outer ear infection. The symptoms that may require emergency treatment include: sudden change in hearing, sudden onset of dizziness, inability to concentrate, muscle weakness on the same side of your face as the affected ear. This could indicate spread of infection, and need urgent attention at any time of the day or night.

Home Remedy: Use a hot-water bottle, a hot towel or a heating pad, warmed to a comfortably hot level and wrapped in a towel. Keep the heat on your ear for 20 minutes or until the pain subsides. Take one tablet of crocin. Any application inside the ear canal is not recommended, till you see an ENT doctor.

Stomach ache

It could be due to infection in the bowels (food poisoning), acidity, stress, pre-menstrual reasons, infections in the urinary tract, stress, overeating, lactose intolerance or due to a variety of reasons.

Home Remedy: For most ailments, could lie on the bed with a hot water bottle on your stomach, which will ease the pain. Chewing an antacid tablet like Digene could also be helpful. Again taking a simple pain reliever like Crocin is recommended. But if pain increases or is accompanied by nausea, vomiting, fever or blood in the stool, seek medical attention immediately.

Muscle Cramps

They are due to overexertion and dehydration. Lack of proper fluid intake during over activity or hot sunny days could cause depletion of water and electrolytes in your body that could cause the muscles to cramp. The main electrolytes affecting muscle cramping are potassium, sodium and calcium. Frequent and intense cramps could be due to clots in the blood vessels and need immediate medical attention.

Home Remedy: Gently massage the affected area and stretch the muscle gently. Drinking water mixed with salt, sugar and lemon juice helps restore fluid and electrolyte imbalance in your body. Apply either ice or a heating pad which improves local circulation and relaxes the muscle.

Vomiting

Vomiting is nature’s way of removing unwanted food or fluid from your stomach. This could be due to overeating, contaminated food, over consumption of alcohol. Sometime it could be due to stomach ulcers, infections in the abdomen, pregnancy or even a sign of other ailments in other parts of the body.

Home Remedy: Gargle with water mixed with salt. Do not take any food or fluids for a few hours. Try taking only liquids initially. If that stays in, then try a bland diet. Usually nausea and vomiting clears within one day. Persistent vomiting, or vomiting of blood, indicates some serious ailment and would warrant immediate medical attention.

Headache

This could be due to stress, tension, migraine attack, sinus infection and ear infection, eye problems, high blood pressure, or rarely even more serious conditions such as infection in the brain, bleeding inside the brain etc.

Home Remedy: Apply an ice pack on your forehead or top of your head. Heat pad could be tried on the back of your head or the neck. Lying in your bed, with the room lights off and a quiet environment also helps. A head massage could also do the trick. Taking a simple pain reliever like Crocin helps. But if the headache persists or increases and is accompanied by visual disturbances, nausea, vomiting, fever, you must seek immediate medical help.

Sneezing

This is due to seasonal allergies which many of us have through common household allergens such as dust, dust mites, mold, mildew, pets carrying allergens, or even due to pollution, upper respiratory track infection, sinusitis, etc.

Home Remedy: Try taking an over-the-counter antihistamine if the sneezing spell is short and seasonal but beware as they could cause drowsiness and other side effects. Certain non-sedating antihistamines are available but the doctor must examine you and prescribe these. You should change your bed sheet and pillow cover as these can hide dust mites. Bed sheets and pillow covers should be washed with hot water (50 degress celsius) to kill the mites.

Don’t bin it… make leftovers lovely!

Next time when you find yourself in a fix to chalk out your cooking menu, just try out these leftover techniques to make it easy

It’s surprisingly easy to reduce the amount of food we chuck out. It just requires a bit of planning. Go shopping more often and don’t buy more than you need. And if you have food in your fridge you’re not going to eat - freeze it. The message is simple - don’t waste it, taste it!

These 20 tips will help you become a savvy shopper and make the most of your leftovers:

• Plan your shopping. Working out beforehand, what you are going to cook can save your money and stop wastage of food.

• Keep a food diary. Note what you throw out in a week to help you become conscious of what you use.

• Do a stock check. Anything you know you’re not going to use, freeze.

• If you have lots of leftover veggies in the fridge, make a big batch of soup and freeze it for days when you can’t face cooking.

• Keep an eye on any fruit that’s ripening quickly. Old fruits are great for making ice cream or sauces, while black bananas are perfect for smoothies, and are so sweet you won’t need to add sugar.

• Clear out your cupboards and fill a box with the five products that need to be used first. Then don’t buy anything but fresh produce for a few days and cook using only what’s in the box.

• If sugar has gone rock hard, place in a microwaveable bowl and give a quick blast for about 30 seconds to get them back to their normal state.

• After Sunday lunch, always boil the chicken carcass or beef joint in the vegetable cooking liquid for a tasty stock to use in soups.

• To freeze excess tomatoes, remove stalks and place whole into freezer bags. Use them in place of canned tomatoes.

• Leftover meat and veg make great stir-fries or create a pasta sauce by stirring leftovers into a tin of tomatoes, garlic and herbs.

• Leftover fish needs to be wrapped well, chilled and eaten within a day of cooking. Flake fish and add to scrambled eggs, spicy rice dishes or make into a pate by mixing with cream cheese.

• That leftover slice of cake is better off in the freezer. Wrap in clingfilm and label clearly.

• Broken biscuits make a delicious crunchy topping for yoghurt or ice cream after being crushed in a bag with a rolling pin.

• Ice cube trays are handy for freezing herbs you use regularly: mint, parsley and tarragon, for example. Freeze them chopped in ice cube trays covered with water. Wash and dry them before freezing whole in bags.

• Cook enough evening meals, to be stored in the freezer to eat at a later date. This saves time and creates a second meal that’s waste-free.

• Don’t cook too much food. Invest in some decent scales and measurer to avoid making huge portions.

• Be a label guru. “Best before” dates refer to quality not food safety and can still be used if they look and smell fine. “Use by” dates are more serious and you should never eat products after this date.

• Cook small batches of foods you want your kids to try. If they don’t like it, you can freeze it or add to another leftover creation.

• If you never use a whole loaf before it goes stale, freeze and use as needed. To crisp up a stale crusty loaf, hold it briefly under the cold tap, give it a good shake and pop in a hot oven for 10 minutes - and it will be as soft and crusty as freshly baked bread

“All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

“In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

“The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

“We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. ‘Children are an heritage of the Lord’ (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

“The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

“We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

“We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society”

“The Importance of the Family,”
Ensign, May 2003, 40
L. Tom Perry
May it be our resolve this year to build a gospel-centered home, a safe harbor from the storms of the adversary.

In a world of turmoil and uncertainty, it is more important than ever to make our families the center of our lives and the top of our priorities. Families lie at the center of our Heavenly Father’s plan. This statement from “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” declares the responsibilities of parents to their families:

“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. ‘Children are an heritage of the Lord’ (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”

In recent meetings with the First Presidency, they have expressed concern about the deterioration of the family. Their mandate to the Priesthood Executive Council was to concentrate on the family in our assignments.

In response to the First Presidency, many plans and efforts are already in place. We will use all of the resources we have to encourage greater harmony, greater love, and greater influence in the Lord’s special designated unit—the family.

We need to make our homes a place of refuge from the storm, which is increasing in intensity all about us. Even if the smallest openings are left unattended, negative influences can penetrate the very walls of our homes. Let me cite an example.

Several years ago, I was having dinner with my daughter and her family. The scene is all too common in most homes with small children. My daughter was trying to encourage her young, three-year-old son to eat a balanced meal. He had eaten all the food on his plate that he liked. A small serving of green beans remained, which he was not fond of. In desperation, the mother picked up a fork and tried to encourage him to eat his beans. He tolerated it just about as long as he could. Then he exclaimed, “Look, Mom, don’t foul up a good friendship!”

Those were the exact words he heard on a television commercial a few days earlier. Oh, what impact advertising, television programs, the Internet, and the other media are having on our family units!

We remind you that parents are to preside over their own families.

Helps and reminders will come from the Church Internet site and television channels, as well as through priesthood and auxiliary leadership to assist you as we strive to fulfill our family responsibilities.

In some of the zones of the world, we have an alternative to commercial television networks and some of their antifamily programming. We have BYU Television, which presents family-oriented programs. In addition to programs that bring gospel teaching, there are programs directed to parent instruction and family entertainment. We will also be striving to increase the quality and frequency of our family-centered Home Front public service spots.

We have other helps covering a wider area than the television network: we have the Church Web site, www.lds.org. It has recently been updated to include a new home and family page. The page includes thoughts from the scriptures and Church leaders to strengthen the family. It also includes ideas for family activities. A new home and family section provides:

• Teachings from Church leaders specifically for the family.

• Ideas for family activities.

• Family home evening quick tips to help you have meaningful and enjoyable family home evenings.

• Featured articles on topics such as making family home evenings more successful, strengthening the relationship between husband and wife, and ideas for feeling closer as family members.

As the site is updated, additional ideas for planning family home evenings will appear. One of these will offer suggestions for activities for Faith in God, Duty to God, and Personal Progress programs.

We do have one media source, however, that reaches the entire Church—it is our wonderful Church magazines. These magazines come into our homes regularly and are another way of delivering information to help strengthen the family. Perhaps you noticed in the March Ensign and Liahona—the international magazine—a message from President Gordon B. Hinckley on family home evenings:

“ ‘We have a family home evening program once a week [Monday night] across the Church in which parents sit down with their children. They study the scriptures. They talk about family problems. They plan family activities and things of that kind. I don’t hesitate to say if every family in the world practiced that one thing, you’d see a very great difference in the solidarity of the families of the world’ (interview, Boston Globe, 14 Aug. 2000).”

Following President Hinckley’s encouragement for us to hold family home evenings, the next article in the Ensign was entitled “The Calling I Didn’t Know I Had”:

“Family home evening was challenging when our children were young. My husband and I took seriously the latter-day prophets’ counsel to hold regular family home evenings, but between our Church callings and other responsibilities, we too often found there wasn’t time or energy to plan an effective, loving family home evening when Monday night came around.

“While visiting Primary one Sunday I noticed how captivated the children were by the stories, visual aids, and brief but effective activities planned for sharing time and music time. I was also absorbed in learning from the well-prepared efforts the Primary counselor and music leader put into their callings. ‘They obviously spent adequate time mingled with lots of love,’ I thought. ‘They do wonderful things in their callings.’

“Just then a thought came to mind: ‘Family home evening is one of your callings. In fact, it is part of your most important calling—motherhood!’ I reflected on that insight. ‘If I can make the time to magnify my callings as newsletter editor and visiting teacher, I can surely magnify my family home evening calling.’ ”

What a wonderful thought she has brought to us to encourage us to be more effective in our planning for this special night set aside for the family.

We can also alert you to the fact that our June issues of the Church magazines will be dedicated to a family theme. In addition, throughout the year there will be issues of the Liahona, Ensign, New Era, and Friend containing materials for teaching in the home. There will be wonderful suggestions for family home evenings and ideas for everyday teaching moments. The articles are written so they can easily be adapted for lessons for your family.

Children and youth are shown, through prophetic words and through living examples, the importance of loving and honoring their parents. Parents are taught ways of building and maintaining close family ties, both in good times and in difficult times. The good spirit in these magazines will help fill your homes with warmth, love, and the strength of the gospel.

The Church News is also helping to spread the message of the family. It has articles on strengthening love and respect in the home, putting the gospel in action, and planning wholesome recreation.

We hope that by flooding the Church with family-oriented media, members of the Church will be assisted and encouraged to build stronger and better families. We hope it will cause a conscious and sustained effort in building an eternal family unit. An abundance of Church materials will be available for you from which to pick and choose useful ideas. At least by seeing family issues mentioned so often, we all will be reminded to focus our attention on the most important organization the Lord has established here on earth.

From the very beginning the Lord has established the importance of the family organization for us. Soon after Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden, the Lord spoke to them:

“The Holy Ghost fell upon Adam, [and] beareth record of the Father and the Son. …

“[Then] in that day Adam blessed God and was filled, and began to prophesy concerning all the families of the earth, saying: Blessed be the name of God, for because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God.

“And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: [If it were] not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient.

“And Adam and Eve blessed the name of God, and they made all things known unto their sons and their daughters.”

“President Brigham Young explained that our families are not yet ours. The Lord has committed them to us to see how we will treat them. Only if we are faithful will they be given to us forever. What we do on earth determines whether or not we will be worthy to become heavenly parents.”

The Church has established two special times for families to be together. The first is centered around the proper observance of the Sabbath day. This is the time we are to attend our regular meetings together, study the life and teachings of the Savior and of the prophets. “Other appropriate Sunday activities include (1) writing personal and family journals, (2) holding family councils, (3) establishing and maintaining family organizations for the immediate and extended family, (4) personal interviews between parents and children, (5) writing to relatives and missionaries, (6) genealogy, (7) visiting relatives and those who are ill or lonely, (8) missionary work, (9) reading stories to children, and (10) singing Church hymns.”

The second time is Monday night. We are to teach our children in a well-organized, regular family home evening. No other activities should involve our family members on Monday night. This designated time is to be with our families.

We hope all of you have noticed the special emphasis the First Presidency has put on family home evenings. The First Presidency letter of October 4, 1999, was recently repeated in the magazines:

“To: Members of the Church throughout the World

“Dear Brothers and Sisters:

“Monday nights are reserved throughout the Church for family home evenings. We encourage members to set aside this time to strengthen family ties and teach the gospel in their homes.

“Earlier this year we called on parents to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles which will keep them close to the Church. We also counseled parents and children to give highest priority to family prayer, family home evening, gospel study and instruction, and wholesome family activities.

“We urge members, where possible, to avoid holding receptions or other similar activities on Monday evenings. Where practical, members may also want to encourage community and school leaders to avoid scheduling activities on Monday evenings that require children or parents to be away from their homes.

“Church buildings and facilities should be closed on Monday evenings. No ward or stake activities should be planned, and other interruptions to family home evenings should be avoided.”

May it be our resolve this year to build a gospel-centered home, a safe harbor from the storms of the adversary. Let us again remember the promises and instructions from the Lord to His children:

“The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth.

“Light and truth forsake that evil one. …

“And that wicked one cometh and taketh away light and truth, through disobedience, from the children of men, and because of the tradition of their fathers.

“But I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth.”

May this be our year for enjoying the light and truth of the gospel in our homes. May our homes truly become places of refuge from the world is my humble prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

“Set in Order Thy House”
Elder Russell M. Nelson
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
Our family is the focus of our greatest work and joy in this life; so will it be throughout all eternity.

Years ago when Sister Nelson and I had several teenaged daughters, we took our family on a vacation far away from telephones and boyfriends. We went on a raft trip down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon. As we started our journey, we had no idea how dangerous this trip could be.

The first day was beautiful. But on the second day, when we approached Horn Creek rapids and saw that precipitous drop ahead, I was terrified. Floating on a rubber raft, our precious family was about to plunge over a waterfall! Instinctively I put one arm around my wife and the other around our youngest daughter. To protect them, I tried to hold them close to me. But as we reached the precipice, the bended raft became a giant sling and shot me into the air. I landed into the roiling rapids of the river. I had a hard time coming up. Each time I tried to find air, I hit the underside of the raft. My family couldn’t see me, but I could hear them shouting, “Daddy! Where’s Daddy?”

I finally found the side of the raft and rose to the surface. The family pulled my nearly drowned body out of the water. We were thankful to be safely reunited.

The next several days were pleasant and delightful. Then came the last day, when we were to go over Lava Falls, known as the most dangerous drop of the journey. When I saw what was ahead, I immediately asked to beach the raft and hold an emergency family council meeting, knowing that if we were to survive this experience, we needed to plan carefully. I reasoned with our family: “No matter what happens, the rubber raft will remain on top of the water. If we cling with all our might to ropes secured to the raft, we can make it. Even if the raft should capsize, we will be all right if we hang tightly to the ropes.”

I turned to our little seven-year-old daughter and said, “All of the others will cling to a rope. But you will need to hold on to your daddy. Sit behind me. Put your arms around me and hold me tightly while I hold the rope.”

That we did. We crossed those steep, rough rapids—hanging on for dear life—and all of us made it safely.

The Lesson
Brothers and sisters, I nearly lost my life learning a lesson that I now give to you. As we go through life, even through very rough waters, a father’s instinctive impulse to cling tightly to his wife or to his children may not be the best way to accomplish his objective. Instead, if he will lovingly cling to the Savior and the iron rod of the gospel, his family will want to cling to him and to the Savior.

This lesson is surely not limited to fathers. Regardless of gender, marital status, or age, individuals can choose to link themselves directly to the Savior, hold fast to the rod of His truth, and lead by the light of that truth. By so doing, they become examples of righteousness to whom others will want to cling.

The Commandment
With the Lord, families are essential. He created the earth that we could gain physical bodies and form families. He established His Church to exalt families. He provides temples so that families can be together forever.

Of course, He expects fathers to preside over, provide for, and protect their families. But the Master has asked for much more. Etched in sacred scripture is a commandment to “set in order thy house.” Once we as parents understand the importance and meaning of that commandment, we need to learn how to do it.

How to Set Your House in Order
To set our house in an order pleasing to the Lord, we need to do it His way. We are to employ His attributes of “righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, [and] meekness.” Each father should remember that “no power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned.”

Parents are to be living examples of “kindness, and pure knowledge, which … greatly enlarge the soul.” Each mother and father should lay aside selfish interests and avoid any thought of hypocrisy, physical force, or evil speaking. Parents soon learn that each child has an inborn yearning to be free. Each individual wants to make his or her own way. No one wants to be restrained, even by a well-intentioned parent. But all of us can cling to the Lord.

Ages ago, Job taught that concept. He said, “My righteousness I hold fast, and will not let it go.” Nephi also taught, “Whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and … hold fast unto it, … would never perish.”

These tenets are timeless as the gospel and endless as eternity. Ponder these additional scriptural admonitions:

From the Old Testament Proverbs we read, “Take fast hold of instruction; let her not go: keep her; for she is thy life.”

From the New Testament: “Brethren, stand fast, and hold the traditions which ye have been taught.”

From the Book of Mormon we learn about multitudes who were “continually holding fast to the rod of iron,” likening it to “the word of God.” Anchored in truth, that iron rod is immovable and immutable.

Other Divine Mandates
Not only are parents to cling to the word of the Lord, but they have a divine mandate to teach it to their children. Scriptural direction is very clear: “Inasmuch as parents have children in Zion … that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents.”

That commandment places responsibility and accountability for the teaching of children squarely upon the shoulders of the parents. The proclamation to the world regarding the family warns that individuals “who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God.” Today I solemnly reaffirm that reality.

In discharging these duties, we need both the Church and the family. They work hand in hand to strengthen each other. The Church exists to exalt the family. And the family is the fundamental unit of the Church.

These interrelationships are evident as we study the early history of the Church. In 1833 the Lord rebuked young leaders of His Church because of parental shortcomings. The Lord said:

“I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth.

“But verily I say unto you, …

“You have not taught your children light and truth, according to the commandments. …

“And now a commandment I give unto you … you shall set in order your own house, for there are many things that are not right in your house. … First set in order thy house.”

This revelation represents one of the many powerful validations of the integrity of the Prophet Joseph Smith. He did not delete from scripture words of stinging rebuke, even though some were directed to himself.

In our day, the First Presidency has again stressed parental priority. From their recent letter to the Saints, I quote: “We call upon parents to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles which will keep them close to the Church. The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential functions in carrying forward this God-given responsibility.”

What Should Parents Teach?
With this sacred charge in mind, let us consider what we should teach. Scriptures direct parents to teach faith in Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism, and the gift of the Holy Ghost. Parents are to teach the plan of salvation and the importance of living in complete accord with the commandments of God. Otherwise, their children will surely suffer in ignorance of God’s redeeming and liberating law. Parents should also teach by example how to consecrate their lives—using their time, talents, tithing, and substance to establish the Church and kingdom of God upon the earth. Living in that manner will literally bless their posterity. A scripture states, “Thy duty is unto the church forever, and this because of thy family.”

Opposition to the Family
Parents and children should realize that strong opposition will always come against the work and will of the Lord. Because the work (and glory) of God is to bring to pass our immortality and eternal life as a family, it logically follows that the work of the adversary will strike directly at the heart of the home—the family. Relentlessly Lucifer attacks the sanctity of life and the joy of parenthood.

Because the evil one is ever at work, our vigilance cannot be relaxed—not even for a moment. A small and seemingly innocent invitation can turn into a tall temptation which can lead to tragic transgression. Night and day, at home or away, we must shun sin and “hold fast that which is good.”

The seditious evils of pornography, abortion, and addiction to harmful substances serve as termites to erode the undergirding strength of a happy home and a faithful family. We cannot yield to any iniquity without putting our families at risk.

Satan wants us to be miserable just as he is. He would animate our carnal appetites, entice us to live in spiritual darkness and doubt the reality of life after death. The Apostle Paul observed, “If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.”

Perpetuation of Family Blessings
An understanding of God’s great plan of happiness, however, fortifies our faith in the future. His plan provides answers to ageless questions: Are all our sympathies and love for each other only temporary—to be lost in death? No! Can family life endure beyond this period of mortal probation? Yes! God has revealed the eternal nature of celestial marriage and the family as the source of our greatest joy.

Brethren and sisters, material possessions and honors of the world do not endure. But your union as wife, husband, and family can. The only duration of family life that satisfies the loftiest longings of the human soul is forever. No sacrifice is too great to have the blessings of an eternal marriage. To qualify, one needs only to deny oneself of ungodliness and honor the ordinances of the temple. By making and keeping sacred temple covenants, we evidence our love for God, for our companion, and our real regard for our posterity—even those yet unborn. Our family is the focus of our greatest work and joy in this life; so will it be throughout all eternity, when we can “inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, … powers, dominions, … exaltation and glory.”

These priceless blessings can be ours if we set our houses in order now and faithfully cling to the gospel. God lives. Jesus is the Christ. This is His Church. President Gordon B. Hinckley is His prophet. I so testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

The Lord requires that we forgive everyone, and the key to forgiving everyone is forgiving those who have hurt us deeply. For us to be spiritually and emotionally healthy, the spirit of forgiveness should permeate every relationship we have. It doesn’t matter whether the person being forgiven responds in a loving manner;we need to let go of our inner pain.

Blaming others cannot solve problems and may cause them to continue indefinitely. Fasting and praying for the power of forgiveness is an integral part of the process of reconciliation. With forgiveness - whether we receive it or give it - comes peace and confidence that will allow us to appreciate more fully what the master has done for us.

Some frustrations we must endure without really solving the problem. Some things that ought to be put in order are not put in order because we cannot control them.

If we resent someone for something he has done; or failed to do, forget it. Too often the things we carry are petty, even stupid. If you are still upset after all these years because he or she didn’t come to your wedding reception, why don’t you grow up and forget it?

If you brood constantly over a loss or past mistake, look ahead- settle it.

Forgiveness is powerful spiritual medicine. To extend forgiveness, that soothing balm, to those who have offended you is to heal. And, more difficult yet when the need is there, forgive yourself.

Our lives maybe poisoned by anger and hard feelings. Past hurts can magnify as they accumulate, and once loving relationships can become damaged beyond repair.

Honestly try to forgive and forget past wrongs. Look to the future, not to tyhrpast. Once an event is over, you can’t go back in time and change your actions, no matter how badly you might want to.Reviewing old hurts can only damage a rrelatonship; it is never a positive step.

Quarreling damages a friendship, and only forgivenssm extended uncoditionallyy to one another, can heal the broken relationship.

If we have been wronged or injured, forgiveness means to blot it completely from our minds. to forgive and forget is an ageless counsel.

Dwelling onlistakess made in the past can affect ourbehaviour to the point we become both physucally and mentally ill.